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The break up post.

1.18.2011

Ok. Here goes. I'm just gonna get this out there. Rip the bandaid, ya know?

As many of you have guessed, by either my recent inspirations or the lack of his title lately, the boyfriend and I have broken up. After a year and a half, we decided that where we were heading and the way we were getting there was just not the best for either of us. For whatever reasons my best friend and I started growing apart and were no longer acting as the great allies that we once were for each other. While we both wish it could have gone the other way I know that deep down we both agree that this is the best thing for us at this point in our lives.

My heart is heavy. I'm losing a best friend. The person i have turned to first every day for the last year and a half. The person that has taken better care of me than anyone else. The person that could make me laugh at the first sign of sadness. The person that took my breathe away and made me feel more loved than I have ever felt before. The person that has been by my side, constantly, consistenly. That's the hardest part. The selfish part. I'm sad for everything I am losing.

My head is going crazy. Mostly for everything I'm giving up. I'm giving up a future of knowing that someone would ALWAYS be there for me. I'm giving up the person I know in my heart will be the most amazing and selfless life partner and father. I'm giving up my biggest supporter. There have been moments I feel insane for willingly giving up this person. He is truly amazing.

Lastly, and luckily, my head and my heart are hopeful. I am hopeful that while I am losing and giving up all of these things, that I am also gaining many things. I am gaining some much needed independence. I am gaining strength through all of the heartache and pain and standing up for what I need. I am gaining peace, where anxiety and tension had temporarily moved in during those last months. But most of my hope still lies with him. I hope he will be ok. I hope he is gaining everything I am and more. I hope he heals and finds a better and more deserving counterpart. I hope he gets everything he wants and needs. And still, I hope he will be my friend again. Someday.

19 comments:

  1. i love your positive attitude, hope all goes well <3

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  2. wow....I know where you're coming from. Heartbreak is tough but temporary and time heals all. And who knows...this could actually be an act against destiny. But you'll soon find out. What is meant to be will be. Good luck!

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  3. awe sad, but i have always thought if it's meant to be... it will. if it's not, you were at least meant to have each other when you did, and now it's time to move on to the next page in your book!

    thinking of you in what i know is a confusing/hard time.

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  4. Aww my love, I am here for you if you need anything... I know the feeling and I love that you are keeping so positive about the situation... Can we run away together?!

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  5. How beautiful! WEird that I saw this... I posted my breakup post today too.. :(
    My thoughts are so similar to yours, losing a lot but gaining more in the long run - we hope. Much love & much peace!!!

    pickingwildflowersblog.blogspot.com

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  6. I had a feeling & have been keeping you close in thought. I know how bad it sucks and how very very hard it can be. Cry when you need to, laugh when you can't imagine anything being funny & spend lots of time with friends who love you. Please keep the faith that it will get better & easier over time. Nobody ever believes that, but it will. I am living proof that happiness can come and slap you right in the face and take over your life when you least expect it. I am hoping happiness will do the same for you soon, sweet girl! I am thinking of you! xo

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  7. I know how you're feeling, take care of yourself and everything will be ok <3

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  8. You are so positive and inspiring- keep the faith, girl! good things will come your way :) xo

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  9. i've been through the exact, EXACT situation. and it was for the better. i gained a lot from it, like you. this post brought me back.

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  10. Oh, I am so sorry. Break ups are so hard. You have a wonderful, positive attitude, though. Everything is gonna work out perfectly in the end.

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  11. I am so sorry for you! Hope you'll feel better soon.

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  12. i hope for all the things you wish for come true. i know how hard it is to break up, my own BF and I have broken up twice.

    you sound like you are in a positive space right now, hope your heart heals quickly

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  13. i have never commented on your blog, but i have been a silent follower for a little while. while reading this post, my heart went out to you. this is never a fun place to be, but your attitude is amazing and i wish you all the best.

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  14. You just made my current situation a lot easier, I no longer feel alone. Thank you

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  15. I am currently going threw a similar situation, and your right. I need to find my own independence. I need to learn that there is life with out him.

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  16. i am into my leave my man alone when i contacted ekaka for a spell love that will help me win my husband back and have a love spell casting with DR.Ekaka. email: ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com and today my husband emailed me and also called me yesterday asking for my forgiveness. this is on the 5th day of the 1st spell and he is already contacting me. wow, i was starting to think i was beating a dead horse since i have heard from him in 4month. thank you so much DR.Ekaka, i can not wait to see him fully in love with me again. thank you for helping me. i am going to recommend your service to my friends. thank you again and thank you papa DR.Ekaka

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  17. My name is Rose Smith from united states of america. I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.MADURAI he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is maduraitemple@yahoo.com

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  18. Dear friends, my name is Sandra Luis from Canada, i am into business,but it was not bringing out profit as it was supposed to, life was not what living cos things was bad for me financially, i have a beautiful wife with four kids to take care off. i sold my car and most of my property just to keep earns mate and still things was not going easily for me. so i complained to a friend of mine who said he knew a powerful spell caster from Africa called Dr ATILA who can perform magical money spell or good luck or automatic promotion in office, making someone love you back, spells to bring close one in jail or lost back home,healing spell etc.that help straightened his brother life from taking hard drugs. At first i was confused and doubtful, then i decided to give a try and did what Dr ATILA told me to do, to my surprise 3 days later things started going well for me, i got what i ever bargained for, my business was flourishing like never before, i now have enough money to take good care of my family and we are living happily,I thank His greatness .atilahealinghome@yahoo.com for bringing my source to hope and joy with his powerful spell,well if you want to be a living testimony like me or interested in any spell casting you can contact Dr ATILA via this email atilahealinghome@yahoo.com

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  19. I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the world, because someone out there might have same problem on how i got the love of my life back, to be with me he left me to another woman for no reason and i try to make things work for both of us yet things where getting worse and i love him so much and there is nothing i could do to get him back until i met a testimony share by violet from UK on the internet talking about a powerful spell caster who brought her lover back within 12hours and i decide to give him a try and to my greatest surprise he also did it for me just as he did for violet. Dr Amba you are a great spell caster who help me to solve my problem.After three day my lover called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness and that he never knew what came over him that he will never leave me again. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and i have introduce many of my friends that have a similar problems,and their problem were solve easily with the great help of Dr.Amba, you can contact him via email; ambatemple@yahoo.com

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Thoughts?

par·a·chute

[par-uh-shoot] noun, verb, -chut·ed, -chut·ing.
noun
1.
a folding, umbrellalike, fabric device for allowing a person, to float down safely through the air from a great height.

“But it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.” — American Beauty