Puking in my Party Dress...

or 2011, A Bad First Impression
or How I spent my New Years Day

New years eve.
I had a very very fun night. Simple with really good friends. My favorite bar and good hiphop to dance to. We ended the night with a bunch of friends at one of their houses. While Rachelle passed out a little early, I thought it would be a good idea to chug some more champagne, for good measure? And eat jalepeno poppers ( I dont like jalepeno poppers) and also yell passionately about science and bacon. Luckily I was with very good friends who didnt judge me for my stupid behavior. Im pretty sure they take me as I am, if not, they are very good at faking it. Anyways, it was a great night and we were put up in a guest bedroom and given the five star treatment including a pitcher of ice water next to the bed. Just what I needed as I shut my eyes and tried not to give in to the spins.

Cut to the next morning. Ugh. I open my eyes, but they stutter a bit as the latches pull apart from each other. I have a bit of where-the-fuck-am-I moment and then it all floods back to me. 

Heres the thing. I am what some one might call a hangover case. I get hungover very very easily and its not just a headache or a quick trip to the bathroom in the morning. If im hungover, its ALL DAY. In and out of the bathroom for hours, in pain and not able to stop. Its pretty awful. But, its so weird, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesnt. I have been down the whole day after just a couple beers, then fine another day after a handfull of vodka redbulls. Its very hit and miss and I hate it. The only pattern I have noticed is that when I am drinking more often, I get hung over less. Not a great realization for some one that is finally coming out of that whole "go out and party every night" stage. Since I stopped drinking as much I tend to get pretty crappy feeling every time. So around the end of october I decided to stop drinking. Even those couple of glasses of wine before bed or a beer at dinner. It wasnt worth it to me any more. I wanted to just take a break so I said Id stop til Thanksgiving (we also have a tradition of going out the night before Thanksgiving). I had no problem with not drinking. I ended up having some drinks and lots of fun when I was home for Thanksgiving and then threw up out of my best friends car as she dropped me off for dinner. Not fun. So I stopped again. Didnt drink at any of the Christmas festivities either. Which is pretty tough if you know what I mean. 

Back to the morning. I feel ok. Paul, the friend that put us up and brought us water comes in with a plate of bacon. Apparently I was not fucking around with the bacon comments the night before. And thats when it hit me. I go to the bathroom and it starts. Once it starts I know im in for an all day event. Joy. I get back in bed turn toward Rachelle and she is eating bacon in my face "hi honey." Im not so mad that she is eating bacon in my fucking face when I just barfed in the bathroom, im more mad that she is eating MY bacon. I was the one yelling my head off for bacon last night, making a fool of myself, and risking friend loss. And where was she? Asleep on the couch. She's getting quite the free ride I think as I make my second trip to the toilet. 

As you can tell I had decided to drink for New Years. COME ON. What else are you gonna do. I tried hydrating all day in order to avoid throwing my first hours of 2011 away. Didnt work. Obviously. But I knew that since I hadnt been drinking this was a risk I was going to have to take, and I thought the trade off would be worth it. Its just one day. 

The rest of my time at Paul was spent cracking jokes and getting filled in on my absurd antics between bathroom breaks. Again, luckily I was in good company. I love my friends. We got a ride back to Rachelles house and thats when things took a turn for me, I got much sicker and felt very dizzy and could barely get out of my best friends bed. This is the worst part. I gets bad before it gets better. Then once I am finally able to fall asleep I know it will be over soon. I woke up from my nap and was so weak I could barely make it out to the couches to be with my friend. I would need a couple more hours to regain strength to make it home, so we watched beauty and the beast and some shows together. She fed me mac and cheese and after a few bites I was done. Finally at 11pm, I went home.

This is what happens to me when I drink. Well, yes, only sometimes, but with out knowing which times it will or will not happen, it has just become too much for me. It is just not worth it to me any more. So there is my long winded way of saying im done drinking. For now. I know myself and I do like to drink up and get down just a little too much to officially swear it off, but for now, im done.
So....


Vodka, 
Im sorry. We are not going to be seeing each other for a while. Im  done. On a break. Taking some time. I just cant do this any longer. No. No. This isn a line, its really not you, its me. Please take care. Maybe at another place in my life we will work better together, maybe our timing will be right in the future. But for now, youre on your own. Ill miss you, youll miss me, but something tells me youll be picked up right away. Youre a hard one to turn down. 
Love always, Lace