Letter to a Friend...

This is a 2 part post. Why? Because the second part sprouted from the first and instead to two seperate posts, I have decided to combine them.

A few months ago I had read a review about a new book called Rattled by Christine Coppa. For some reason I was drawn to it and a couple weeks ago I finally bought it. The story was true and began with a girl in her later twenties that finds out she is pregnant. Her boyfriend, who she hadnt been with for very long, was pretty quickly out of the picture, leaving her a single mother before her child had even arrived.

I cant actually put my finger on the reason I loved this book so much. She was not the best writer I have ever read, but there was something about the ease of her words that drew me in and cemented the cover to my palms. I simply could not put it down. Her story was inspirational. She grew up and made so many positive changes in the short 9 months while she prepared for her babys arrival.

Though their stories are very different, reading this book made me think of my best friend, Andi. The differences are great: Andi has an amazing fiance that was by her side the entire time, and I also feel that she was just naturally much more prepared for a child than this author. She has always been a mother, she just hadnt had her baby yet.

There were a few parts where the authors friends would come over bringing her care packages and having weekly get togethers through out her pregnancy. This struck a chord with me and I have not been able to let it go. I know that I stood by Andi through her pregnancy. I was after all the one with her in my tiny bathroom when the plus sign appeared. I was there for her enough, or so I thought at the time. These days I have changed my mind and this is why, today, I write to her.


My Dearest Andi,
I am so proud of you and the woman you have become, I can barely put it into words. During your pregnancy you kept a positive attitude and did your best at dismissing stresses all for the sake of your child. During your labor you had a strength in you that i truly didnt know existed. You fought so hard and did an amazing job. I am so grateful I got to be there and be a part of Bryce coming into this world. You were absolutely stunning. And over the last 10 months, I have watched you blossom into the most amazing mother. You are an inspiration and no one could ask you to do a better job than you are doing with your son.

Although I mean all of those things from the bottom of my heart, they are not the reason for this letter. My apology, however, is. I am sorry for not being there more for you. I know that we have always led different lives and since your having a baby, our lives couldnt get any further away from similar. I should have made more of an effort. During your pregnancy and after, I should have went out of my way and had at least a weekly dinner with you. You have never asked much out of our friendship and now having the time to look back and see a little bit of how hard and lonely it all could have been, I know I should have done more. There is no excuse for it, I should have made you a bigger priority. You didnt deserve it. You have always been there for me when I needed you in any way.

It is simply killing me now that I cannot go back and change this. Now that you and Bryce are a huge priority for me, but we live in different towns, I know how stupid it was for me to neglect our friendship when it was just an arms length from me. I am deeply sorry for not recognizing what exactly you have been going through. I hope you can accept my apology and notice the strides I am making to be sure something like this doesnt happen again. I love you and cannot wait for our next visit.

With love,
Lacey