Letter to a Friend...


This is a 2 part post. Why? Because the second part sprouted from the first and instead to two seperate posts, I have decided to combine them.

A few months ago I had read a review about a new book called Rattled by Christine Coppa. For some reason I was drawn to it and a couple weeks ago I finally bought it. The story was true and began with a girl in her later twenties that finds out she is pregnant. Her boyfriend, who she hadnt been with for very long, was pretty quickly out of the picture, leaving her a single mother before her child had even arrived.

I cant actually put my finger on the reason I loved this book so much. She was not the best writer I have ever read, but there was something about the ease of her words that drew me in and cemented the cover to my palms. I simply could not put it down. Her story was inspirational. She grew up and made so many positive changes in the short 9 months while she prepared for her babys arrival.

Though their stories are very different, reading this book made me think of my best friend, Andi. The differences are great: Andi has an amazing fiance that was by her side the entire time, and I also feel that she was just naturally much more prepared for a child than this author. She has always been a mother, she just hadnt had her baby yet.

There were a few parts where the authors friends would come over bringing her care packages and having weekly get togethers through out her pregnancy. This struck a chord with me and I have not been able to let it go. I know that I stood by Andi through her pregnancy. I was after all the one with her in my tiny bathroom when the plus sign appeared. I was there for her enough, or so I thought at the time. These days I have changed my mind and this is why, today, I write to her.

My Dearest Andi,
I am so proud of you and the woman you have become, I can barely put it into words. During your pregnancy you kept a positive attitude and did your best at dismissing stresses all for the sake of your child. During your labor you had a strength in you that i truly didnt know existed. You fought so hard and did an amazing job. I am so grateful I got to be there and be a part of Bryce coming into this world. You were absolutely stunning. And over the last 10 months, I have watched you blossom into the most amazing mother. You are an inspiration and no one could ask you to do a better job than you are doing with your son.

Although I mean all of those things from the bottom of my heart, they are not the reason for this letter. My apology, however, is. I am sorry for not being there more for you. I know that we have always led different lives and since your having a baby, our lives couldnt get any further away from similar. I should have made more of an effort. During your pregnancy and after, I should have went out of my way and had at least a weekly dinner with you. You have never asked much out of our friendship and now having the time to look back and see a little bit of how hard and lonely it all could have been, I know I should have done more. There is no excuse for it, I should have made you a bigger priority. You didnt deserve it. You have always been there for me when I needed you in any way.

It is simply killing me now that I cannot go back and change this. Now that you and Bryce are a huge priority for me, but we live in different towns, I know how stupid it was for me to neglect our friendship when it was just an arms length from me. I am deeply sorry for not recognizing what exactly you have been going through. I hope you can accept my apology and notice the strides I am making to be sure something like this doesnt happen again. I love you and cannot wait for our next visit.

With love,


  1. I am with you on this, Lacey. I too have my share of regrets.. for that childhood friend whose wedding i was not able to attend because of personal struggles..for that visiting college chum whose short trip to the city went by without us getting together at all..I can only hope that your friend is more forgiving and understanding than mine are..

  2. aw this is a beautiful post, well written :)

  3. Just found your blog -- what a well written and beautiful post.




[par-uh-shoot] noun, verb, -chut·ed, -chut·ing.
a folding, umbrellalike, fabric device for allowing a person, to float down safely through the air from a great height.

“But it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.” — American Beauty