This is the lovely Little O I get to hang out with everyday.

My Monday...

...so far.


This is S...

Little O...

And Me...

Typical Monday.

Job Update, Dropping Babies, And Light At The End Of The Tunnel.

So, its been 2 official weeks at my new job! And let me tell you, I am loving it! I cant begin to describe the wonderful vibes that are flowing here. I have had quite a few jobs as a nanny now and this one is just so different, in all the best ways. I am getting along beautifully with the little ones.

S is three and a half, just ask him and he'll tell ya! He has the kind of giggle that could cure sickness. He is a light and we have become the best of buds. He does go to preschool for half of the day, 4 of the 5 days I am with him, so when we do get to hang, we both just eat it up. He adores grossing me out and trying to scare me, and I couldnt love it more.

O is the little miss of the house. She is 7 months old and by my side through out the week. She is the calmer of the two, an observer in my eyes. Always looking around and really taking it all in. We have bonded so well already, I just love her. She love to be tossed and held up and then "dropped" (dont worry, I always catch her). She is reserved, but trust me, she will let you know if she's not happy. She my littlest friend, and we can talk about anything (she keeps all my secrets).

S&A are the leaders of this fierce little clan. I cannot say enough great things about them. The are two of the most down to earth people I know. They are generous and selfless and I just feel so lucky to have people like this as my bosses. Its just crazy lucky. They are amazing parents with the kind of love for their children you could spot a mile away. They are the kind of people anyone would feel lucky to have as any role in their lives in my opinion.

I truly feel blessed to have been put on this path. It is such an amazing situation. I am very independent and sometimes have a hard time loving this whole "job dictates my everyday" kind of thing, Im a free spirit that would rather live life in which ever direction the wind blows me. But having a job like this, with people like this, makes it so much easier. I did my little 2 week check in with my bosses last night, and I am please to report that they are just as thrilled with the pairing as I am. It is so hard to get down with all this positivity flowing around me. There was a light at the end of this tunnel! (See tunnel here) Thank you world for shaking up my life and landing me here!

Do any of you feel this way about your job? Or is it the complete opposite? Or perhaps have a good story on life tossing you somewhere wonderful?

The New Charges...

A few photos from my first day with the new little ones. Tell me...can you believe the hair on the little miss? and the eyes on the little guy?

Im already in love...

Everything Happens For a Reason...

Well, I was right. Weird how that happens sometimes. In all of my experience with jobs, every time something had fizzled out, or in this case, had been completely stamped out, something better was waiting for me just around the corner. That is why it was pretty easy for me to keep a good perspective on all of this.

I had met a wonderful family on Sunday evening. We both just fell in love with each other. There was truly an instant comfort and friendship. I was so excited at the prospect of working with such adorable little children (7 month old girl and a 3 year old boy) and some of the greatest, most laid back and generous parents I have encountered. It all reminded me of my best job yet and the bond that I had created and still carry with the family. I was ecstatic!

So Wednesday, I went back over there for the second meeting for a few more questions and to meet the Grandma! It was great. And...I got hired! I got the job! I couldnt be more: grateful, happy, excited, appreciative, etc. It is an amazing position and opportunity. Great kids, with a great schedule, amazing bosses, tons of time off, and a situation that allows me to be a great nanny while pursuing the other passions in my life. I am blessed.

It all goes to show that everything happens for a reason. With change comes opportunity, and I am ready. I am so ready.

An unexpected ending...

So when Mo's mom decided to let me go, she gave me two weeks notice. The ticking clock left me with mixed emotions but I chose to take the time I had left and savor the moments with Mo. Tomorrow was set to be my last day as Mo's nanny but yesterday at noon I got a curve ball. I received a text from Mo's mom saying that their new nanny ended up being able to work this week and since she was going to be out of town on business next week, she felt it was necessary to get the new nanny acclimated before she left. It was a fairly long and detailed message but the only words I saw during the first run through was, "so today will be your last day." I immediately burst into tears.

Being a nanny is a wonderful but very different job. I have had other jobs, office jobs to be more precise,  and have gotten attached to everyone there too. It is always hard to leave people you have become close with, but nothing compares to leaving a child. The bond created between a nanny and a child (especially full time) is so strong. I still believe this is best for both parties, but logic went straight out the window yesterday. I was supposed to have 2 more days with him! It was hard enough trying to prepare myself for the goodbyes that Thursday had in store for me, but to find out at noon that I only had hours left with my little buddy was just too much to handle.

I got the news while Mo was taking his nap and thank goodness I had some alone time to recover and gain control of myself after a minor meltdown. When I heard Mo wake up and start calling for me, "YaYa!", I went straight into his room. Some days he wakes up in a bit of a daze and likes to lay there a couple of minutes so I usually lean over the side of his crib asking him about his dreams and he, for some reason, always says he dreamt of cows. But today I went into the first of many speeches trying my hardest to explain to a 20 month old that I will not be coming back tomorrow like I always to do play with him. I said things like: I wont be coming back in the morning, I wish I could come back and play with you but I cant for a while, some one else new and fun will come to play with you, I will miss you, ect. ect. But then I was interrupted by Mo's post nap haze mumblings and asked him to repeat, "what MoMo?" I then heard Mo say quietly and surely, "Love you." He knew. He did understand what I was saying to him, in some sense, as much as a toddler could at this point. I scooped him up and told him I loved him too. We slowly twirled around his room. I hummed. He rested his tiny but heavy head on my shoulder. The moment was near perfect. Then, during mid twirl, Mo farted on me. He lifted his head and as we both looked at each other, he cracked the biggest smile and began singing "tooty! tooty!" We both laughed hysterically and I told him again, "boy, am I gonna miss you Mo! The moment had turned into perfection.

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur at this point. But I made sure to spend our last half hour playing our favorite rowdy games upstairs in his after-bath-diaper. They consist of running around, "hiding" from each other, and endless tossing on the bed tickle fights! Then, Mo's mom came upstairs. She was holding the video camera and I thought she was probably trying to document some of our games for Mo to watch, so I continued on with the chasing and tickling. After a few minutes and some "last day" photos, we headed downstairs. I got my last paycheck and it was time for goodbyes. Mo was extremely concerned, as usual, about getting his milk and was in a bit of a fit about it. I thought I was gonna have to leave with out my goodbye hug. But mid tantrum our eyes finally met and he reached out for me. He gave me the tightest squeeze and then rested his forehead against mine. I quietly told him that I loved him, I wouldnt be coming back for a little while, and that I would miss him very very much. As both me and Mo's mom began to tear up a bit, Mo said to me in his jagged but soft toddler talk, "Love you. Missss you. Come back soon." Thats when I lost it a bit. I left Mo's house with an invite to drop by anytime I missed Mo (something I wasnt totally sure would happen as I have never been "let go" before) and the feeling that Mo did, in some way, grasp and understand what was going on.

"Bye, Ill miss you buddy!" I said as I walked out the door. I turn to wave and heard him reply, "Miss you, bud-dee!" I love and will genuinely miss that little guy. He is my bud. He is my pal. He is Mo.

Endless Job Hunt Brings Me To THIS...

This is me...today. After an interview this morning I have been off and on the computer all day job hunting and sending out and receiving emails! Its driving me a little bananas...hence...

"You're Fired!" "Thank You!"

Last Thursday I was "let go" from my job as Mo's nanny that I have had since January. My boss simply stated that she no longer felt it was a good match and could not offer me any further explanations than that, even after I asked her twice. What? You are "letting go" the person that has watched your child for 10 hours a day, 4 days a week for 9 months because you no longer "feel it is a good fit", and you cant give any insight as to why? That is just crazy to me. Especially, since I also feel that it is not a good match, however, I have felt this way from the start and could give you a specific list of reasons and examples as to why. I thought about quitting a million times but always chickened out and then gave myself some fleeting motivation by lying and saying it was a challenge I had to overcome. Blah blah blah.

I may seem a little heated about the situation but, at the time, I took the news very well. I was as if my boss had finally MADE the decision I was trying so desperately to make. It is the kick in the pants that I need to finally put this PLAN in to order. Let me explain, for about three months I have had this plan that I have been waiting (procrastinating) to put into action. My plan was to find another nanny job that is a better match and working less days than I work now. Then I would try my hardest to talk some one in to giving me a bartending job a few nights a week to supplement my income. This would leave me (in theory) to have more days to work on my photography and getting myself and my portfolio "out there". That is the biggest thing for me right now! I always thought about making this happen around September however I have not made any sort of stride in that direction. This cool comfort zone seems to be cemented to my ankles I swear. And now, here I am, handed this new direction, put in place by some one else, giving me two weeks of notice, leaving me, on SEPTEMBER 3rd, free to put my plan in to gear!

So this beautiful little flame under my ass comes in the ironic translation of my boss's bad news last week...You're Fired! I ended the conversation with some sort of unconvincing bummer, while, im sure, my face was screaming THANK YOU!!! Thank you Mo's mom for forcing me to get my shit together.

Im so much talk its ridiculous. Its really disappointing at times. I have all of these huge dreams and goals and so much I want to do, but i rarely do anything about it. I so often get stuck in my everyday, strictly maintaining. This is the thing I fear the most, settling. I cant stand the idea of just settling for what ever works or gets me by at the time. It is finally time to, ew, grow up. Its scary and I know it is going to take everything that I have every day to not slip back into my "comfort zone." But it is time.

So now, here I am, again, on the job hunt. Still looking to nanny, because Im good at it, it is the job I know I can get, and I wont have to take a drop in pay. I am also keeping an eye out for a bar that would like to take a chance on a girl with absolutely no cocktail experience but an abundance of charm just waiting to be forced upon the nearest drunk kid needing another vodka redbull! And finally, I am going to throw myself into photography. Back to never leaving my camera home and always looking for new things to shoot! I will network like its going out of style. Its a new page, that I didnt even need to turn.