There is a lot going on in my little life right now. There are a lot of possible direction changes that I am not completely sure I have any control over. Usually this lack of control causes me to be a little anxious, however I have remained pretty cool and content through it all. There are times that my mind goes to a dark place and I wonder what will happen to me if things dont turn around. But in the deepest part of me there is a confidence calming me and letting me know it will all be ok. I just know something great is in store for me at this fork in the road and I am just drinking in all of the opportunity. I know still that I have amazing people in my life that will not let me down. And more importantly, I feel for the first time in a long time, I know I have my own back. I am more determined than ever to make it. And for all of this, I am immensely grateful.
Maybe deep down my anxiety is frantically flirting will all my worry, but up here I cannot get my head out of the happy clouds or wipe the eternal smile off my face.
I'm pretty sure I wrote an entry exactly along these lines about 2 years ago...and realizing that you are the only person you can truly depend on is one of the best things and one of the scariest things. Enjoy it :)
ReplyDelete