In the midst of all of this....I am still blissfully HAPPY.


There is a lot going on in my little life right now. There are a lot of possible direction changes that I am not completely sure I have any control over. Usually this lack of control causes me to be a little anxious, however I have remained pretty cool and content through it all. There are times that my mind goes to a dark place and I wonder what will happen to me if things dont turn around. But in the deepest part of me there is a confidence calming me and letting me know it will all be ok. I just know something great is in store for me at this fork in the road and I am just drinking in all of the opportunity. I know still that I have amazing people in my life that will not let me down. And more importantly, I feel for the first time in a long time, I know I have my own back. I am more determined than ever to make it. And for all of this, I am immensely grateful.

Maybe deep down my anxiety is frantically flirting will all my worry, but up here I cannot get my head out of the happy clouds or wipe the eternal smile off my face.

1 comment:

  1. I'm pretty sure I wrote an entry exactly along these lines about 2 years ago...and realizing that you are the only person you can truly depend on is one of the best things and one of the scariest things. Enjoy it :)




[par-uh-shoot] noun, verb, -chut·ed, -chut·ing.
a folding, umbrellalike, fabric device for allowing a person, to float down safely through the air from a great height.

“But it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.” — American Beauty