How can I be so eternally conflicting. Hot and cold. Up and down. On and off. All day. Everyday. I need to find a middle ground. Compromise, with myself. Discover ways to hold on to my beautiful and cherished independence while letting some one in. Or even just the possibilities of a some one. Stop looking down on the cravings for companionship. I have to believe there is a way to shape an interface. A place where the two can live together in a hopeful and harmonic place. Id really like that. I just dont know if it really exists.
“But it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.” — American Beauty