Im contradicting myself tonight. I feel so strong. Solid and sure. I also feel defeated and stretched. Hot and shivering. My path is clear, eyes direct, and I'm swerving. How can I be so many things? I burn inside, but I feel my fire wavering. Since when am I so composed? I want to lose it again. I want to get so burned up I can't contain it. I could use a shake up, a break in routine, a slap in the face. Im sure it will come, right when I need it. Until then, I will will continue with this internal tug of war and be grateful for what I am. I am content with myself, confident with rolling the dice. I am a living contradiction and I feel alive.

1 comment:

  1. I feel every word you just said. Craziness. Thank you.




[par-uh-shoot] noun, verb, -chut·ed, -chut·ing.
a folding, umbrellalike, fabric device for allowing a person, to float down safely through the air from a great height.

“But it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.” — American Beauty