All I know...


This morning my mind has calmed down a bit. Not much, but just enough to to trick me into thinking I could catch my breath. But, as I tried to fill my lungs with the slightest sense of ease and clarity, I noticed my heart. It was then that i realized my mind hadnt calmed at all, i believe, instead, that my heart has taken over. It is suddenly full, antsy, and optimistic. One might think with the minor relief of my mind I would now have time to appraise all or even just a few of the things that have been crowding my always restless thoughts, however that is not the case. It is all too much to figure out and now, in addition to all of this is the problem with my heart. It just cannot regain enough of its composure to bring any sort of insight or logic to the situation. When I am confronted with this sort of predicament I turn to what i call my "all I knows".

They are used when I feel like I have no idea what to do or where to turn about certain somethings. So I turn to what I do know about it and that usually points me in the right direction. All I know is...

Right now I am not ready to even realized all of my "all i knows" let alone share them, but all I know is, the all i knows i am experiencing right now are some of the most amazing feelings Ive had in a long long time. All I know is today I am immensely happy.

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[par-uh-shoot] noun, verb, -chut·ed, -chut·ing.
a folding, umbrellalike, fabric device for allowing a person, to float down safely through the air from a great height.

“But it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.” — American Beauty