Why is my heart always flirting with disaster? Why must i allow myself just enough to keep me wanting more? Why do I set up the road blocks only to kick them over time to time, for quick glimpses of gratification? How is it possible to desire chaos so severely, while at the very same moments, my actions only serve to guard and avoid even the slightest of waves.
Why not step out of my own way? Allowing my heart to make a mess of things once in a while. Oh, to get so swept up in a mess that each breath gets tripped up in the throat and all the words to describe it get caught between tongue and lip. There is beauty is the unmanageable. Real, raw, unfiltered beauty to be experienced and enjoyed.
Is not having to clean up the debris and stand up for made mistakes worth never having the indescribable feelings and emotions that can undoubtedly make me feel absolutely alive? Perhaps my heart isn't the one flirting with disaster. Maybe its my not allowing the heart what it calls for that is the real disaster.
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